I ♥ DOG

dog.. how i love this creature.. i don't know why. some say dog is human's best friend. maybe it's right. for somehow dog have a loyality to its owner. that's why (maybe) i do love dog, especially golden retriever.

the price of golden retriever is very expensive. i can't buy it for now. besides, my mom doesn't like pet. so, still have a few more years later to have and petting a golden retriever.

golden retriever, as i know, is the most closest pet for human being. they can easily trained. they also a sweet dogs. they will be waiting for us, no matter how long we're going home, they're always wait in front of our door. :)

when i was a kid, i lived with my grandparent. they have a dog called 'KUMEL'. Kumel was a good dog. i used to play with him everyday after i was going back from school. he never mad at me if i grab his tail, hehe. but, when my aunt pulled his tail accidentally he bite her directly. hahaha... i didn't know why. maybe because i was a kid. he always knew who will going home. even we're 200 metres before home. i really enjoyed my time with him. and sadly he died when i was at grade 1 elementary school because his age was too old. :(

anyway, i really wanna have a puppy. but, i know this isn't the right time. i'm too busy with my college stuffs. i'm afraid i can't take a really good care for my dog. trust me, i want it so bad. :p

isn't he cute?? :p

♥

♥

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Blow Up!!

It's been 2 days i was thinking hardly how to take a decision. I have some kind of problem which unsolved for 2 weeks more. At the beginning i think that this problem can just go away. But, then i was wrong. Once you don't face and even worst solve it, then the problem gone wild and bigger and complicated. I suggest you to face your problem and solve it immediately, before it going bigger and more complicated.
So, the climax was 2 days ago. I was totally sick of it. I wanted this problem could solved as soon as possible. And yes, i did make a decision. I also called my bff to helped me out of this. My bff gave some advices and she supported what decision i take in the end.
Actually, my bff's advice was not the same with my first decision that i wanna take. I was kinda arguing her. I know it's hard to do but i have to keep on my decision. It's about my principle and i won't change my mind. I'm sorry but that's i wanna do.

handwriting..

this is a very hard week for me. getting ready for my new busy, my new focus on life. i know i was acting like i'm a tough girl. i am! but sometime there is a time when you wanna go out from this mess. maybe i messed up something or maybe not. i don't know.

i feel tired. i just wanna be alone now. doing all my stuffs and the messy things by myself. i don't wanna think about anybody. just me! but i just can't! as hard as i wanna forget about something, it never disappear from my mind. why the thing i wanna forget can't be just forget? why it shows up unexpectedly?

i wanna be alone right now, for sure. i don't know until when. perhaps, when i reach out my dream. and i will stop if there is no possibility or chance. i still have faith anyway, but faith is not enough. EFFORT and HARD WORK are needed.

don't stop believing, hold on to that feeling!

Gimme Back My MONEY!

i really miss my time to watch a movie. besides, my financial is not supported very well. my priority still the same, SAVING. oh God.. but, i really wants to watch these movies badly.

here are the movies..

oh my...... gimme back my MONEY!! (>o<)9

Laugh Outside, Cry Inside :'(

today is really not good for me.. maybe because i'm thinking negatively to someone. then i keep thinking of that someone almost a day. creating some speculation which is totally not good and maybe wrong. yeah..i hate myself like this. too sensitive, too fast making a decicion, and also too fast making a conclusion about something. oh... i really hate this part of myself.. :'(

now, im pretending to laugh in front of my family and my friend. but, sometime there's a friend who can make laugh and forgetting about my problem n my stupid mind.

yeah..im just don't know how to express what im feeling right now. because i don't wanna look so weak at my friend n also my family side.

that's why my closest friend always talk to me n ask about what she's gonna do to solve her problem. and i always making a joke to make her laugh and smile. but, they never know about the inside of me. hmmm....

all of my smile is fake today.

:(

Laugh Outside, Hurt Inside

-quoted from my friend who's accidentally has a same situation like me-

Being 19

smells like saturday... oh, and it's right! happy weekend :)

it seems like im not going to somewhere or hangout with someone today. it because i don't have much money. LOL and other reason is there's no people persuade me to take me out today..haha

it's okay then.

well, im 19 now. oh, God why so fast my age grow up? actually, last november was my birthday. so, it's just 2 months im 19. many things i've thought, such as my future, my study, n my life partner. i feel like im too relax and never think a lot for that stuffs. im just let it flow.

actually, im thinking of my responsbility as an older child in my family. my mom is getting older and i know she can't work all the time. she was complained that she's tired of her job. and this is such a dilema for me. other side i wanna keep studying but other side i want to exchanging my mom. i can't do 2 things together. it will makes me not focus. so far, that's what im thinking lately.

hmmm....

while writing i take some pics of my expression.. LOL
:D

my Dad

wew...seems so long that i didn't write in here.

well, all of a sudden i missed my dad. i just don't know why. it happened when i was take a bath yesterday. all of the memories came to my head. it seem like a movie.

my dad was die when i was 9. he died after his birthday. i didn't know what he has given to me. all i know is my dad really loved me.

i remember when i was 5, my dad always picked me up in school because my family just moved, so my school was so far from my house. also, when i was at first grade in elementary school, my dad accompanied me in day 1.

when i got sick, he always treated me. he also taught me how to cook. he was the master in cook! LOL. i must confess that my dad's cook is more delicious than my mom's. my favourite dad's cook is fried rice. yummy!

all of that rewinded in my head yesterday. oh.... how i really miss you, dad. :(

i wish he hold me right now.

i love you, dad :)

enjoy! :)

yeah..for long time i didn't write my blog..

already miss my blogspot!haha

so much things happened in my life.

first, i've got a nu class n nu friends. got a hectic college schedjule. and many more from my college stuff.

anyway, in my nu class, it seems not comfortable. but just a part of the class. not much. there's a girl that close to me. we ain't know each other, but it looks like she is comfortable being my friends. we have just talked each other after 2 weeks the college begin. she always sent me text. and at first time i thought that she was strange. it because her style was so boyish. but, after all i know that it was totally wrong. she was ever told me about her love story with someone. haha! keep positive thinking guys.. :D

LOL

and then, my relationship with mr.F is over.

yep..it's true!!

he's just a jerk and i felt so dummy because i was too believe in him. he is a player. oh my.....

i learned not to regret it n just say thankful to GOD because it's over.

so, everything that happened to you just enjoy it n keep positive thinking. never regret what just happened. also,

keep thankful to GOD!!

cheers~

SILENT screaming

this is midnight already. everybody in my house has just sleeping. this is very quite. very silent. and nobody is talking. then i find myself sit here, writing about my heart-screaming quitely.

this is a week which is full of disappointed. why am i say so?bcoz i was failed in my test. my GPA is turn down pretty extremely. there was 2 subjects which i failed. and i got C for that. i just can't believe it till now. i'm also trying to repair my score. but, it's not work. i feel very sad. and i have to tough my self bcoz my uncle must be so angry and disappointed too with my GPA.

in addition, i feel kinda bored and got no idea to do something, something that can help my mom for financial exactly. and i know the fact about my brother that made me feel so sad. what i was thinking about him was really happened. but, thanks God he told honestly.

and this is so painful. i feel that my friends are gone. i feel lonely. i know that they are very busy with their business. but sometime, i need them beside me. i think i would annoyed them if i telling em about my problem. also, i wish that my bf could stand beside me and listen all about my feeling right now. in fact, he couldn't. why? bcoz he is so far far away from me.

i can't cry bcoz it's not solving the problem. and cry is a symbol of weakness for me. but, sometime i can cry suddenly..it happened when i feel i can't take it all.

so, i'm pretending that everything is fine. but, inside my heart.. it's totally NO NO! i'm pretending like that bcoz i want people can see that i'm a strong woman. but, i have to be strong, right?

GOD gimme YOUR strenght!

some people said that SILENT is GOLD. is that true?

what i thought..

i have to say that i was lost my mood to write. feel lazy. well, so many things happened. and i could just say Thank God it's happened!

3 days ago i got sick. it was influenza but the pain fell into my bones. oh God!

and then, i was lost contact with my F for almost 6 days. it was really lost contact. his cellphone was inactive and i was thought that his cellphone was stolen. when i refilled my credit which was empty, i was try to called him. luckily, his cellphone was active. i couldn't believe it and sent him text immediately. it was delivered. then he replied my sms. after he replied i decided to call him. then i asked him why his cellphone was inactive for 6days. and what he said was the same thing as i thought before. his cellphone was stolen. how can?!

actually,i have thought that i was really bored with my relationship. i was thought that perhaps i would end this relationship if it wasn't advantages anymore. i mean a positive advantages for sure. but, it always not happened because after i thought about it, there always a good things appeared from him. ALWAYS! i think that, God always prevent me to do that, end my relationship. i think that God don't want this happen for a useless thing. i still doubt about my feeling but i'm sure i can figure it out. oh GOD i need a wisdom. :(

beside of that silly thought, i can still have fun with my besties and my family. for the first time i was visited my friend's house that was in Bojong. it was really fun and very far far far away from my house. LOL

and i can still watch Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and, finally, TRANSFORMER : The Revenge of The Fallen. hahaha..

oh, and my relationship with my the-one-and-only brother has getting better. now, i really thoughtfull about his act, his feeling and his activities. we are supporting each other now, which is rarely happen before.. I LOVE MY BROTHER SO MUCH!

and i give you,

quote of the day :

>> The secret of life is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.

_Paul Coelho_

enjoy urself.. ;)

*sigh..*

When i wake up in the morning,
i said thanks to GOD for His blessing to me..
i said thanks for His caring
i said thanks for His LOVE that never end
i said thanks for His protection

ahh....so many things to say to U, Lord..

I'm grateful for my life, my mom, my brother, my friends, my besties, my study
also all my stuffs that i have.

I just wanna say thanks to my Lord because He makes my life great..

enjoy ur life buddies!!

~cheers :D